If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize