I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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