my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just cropdusted the office
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
