3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
