He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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