For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
