You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
birth control should be required to get into college
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize