You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
