i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
