I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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