In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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