..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
