I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
