we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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