Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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