Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
