I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
