Porn is love you can see.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
