She tied me up with her honor cords...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
