if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
is it fun? or sober?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
