Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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