I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
