Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
