p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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