Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Terrible idea I love it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
