Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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