YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
