Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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