my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
