I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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