So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
