You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
