i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
