the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
