babies were throwing up all over the place
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
