Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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