areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
