Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
