I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
