he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
