I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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