she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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