Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
