I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize