worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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