I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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