my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize