How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
