Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
