i barfeds in our rink
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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