It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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