It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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