worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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