How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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