I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
