How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
