Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
