I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
